To get your cat used to you you will need three things: patience, to be gentle when picking it up and a BRUSH.
To pick your cat up hold it's front paws by slipping one finger in between the two front paws (preferable the middle finger) and the index finger and the ring finger on the outside of the paws. then slip your other hand underneath it's back paws and gently pull it up onto your knees.
Get the BRUSH and start to gently comb its fur starting from the top of it's head going down to the back of it's back. sometimes your cat's hair will get matted, this is nothing to worry about. but combing forcefully through these can hurt and be dangerous to your cat.